In the midst of the madness.
I found myself having to create a method of self care.
Surrounding myself with positivity, the people I love, and the people that love me. Cutting out things that I do not appreciate or like. Unfriending secret bigots, reminding some of their privileges and understanding my own.
Self care in this time is crucial.
Reading about the victims that lost their lives to the very hands that are there to protect.
Countless heartbreaking stories of mothers, fathers, brothers sisters, daughters, sons and cousins lives coming up short.
In the fog of the politically correct, I see those who are drenched in blood asking why, while others are saying ‘let the trash take themselves out.’ Reading the status’s of people I sat next to in class, or shared a beer pong table say things like Blue Lives Matter and All Lives Matter.
I find myself infuriated and questioning. How do you say that without knowing what it means. Do you mean to be spiteful? Do you mean to be hateful? Where does it come from. Your mother? I know her. Your father? He’s a good man.
Where does it come from, deep inside your soul and your mind. Do you really think this is okay? Where is your compassion? Where is your justice? Does death have to come knocking on your front door for you to understand? Does it have to reach into you family tree and pluck some out?
What about stopping police brutality is so offensive to you? What about proclaiming Black Lives matter is so offensive to you?
I’m sorry I wont ask you anymore questions.
I wrote this up one night a few months ago, but didn’t post it because I’m a wimp. Hence the title, Growing Guts.
It’s easier for me to write how I feel, or even talk to people in real life.
But almost impossible for me to post it. Especially when events are so fresh. When my feelings are so unorganized.
But After the election I found myself feeling the same way again. Overwhelmed. Like I couldn’t breath right. A certain terrible thickness in my chest. Like I have had a xxs bra on for months.
I’m not sure why people who are my friends voted Trump. I’d truly like to believe that they are not outright racists because they know my family. I’ve brought these people into my home. Call me naïve but I truly do not believe that ALL white people secretly feel some type of way about POC. Or was I always just the exception?
However with those that have stated they voted for Trump, it just really opened my eyes. You may not see what Trump represents because it doesn’t touch you the same way to touches me. You can say you went with him because of his candidness. You can say you went with him because of his economic policies.
But at the end, you chose money, you chose ‘candidness’ over people.
You picked a man that gave the already dangerous racist ass people, the okay to feel like they don’t have to hide it anymore.
And I don’t think I will ever be able to accept that. You are still my friend, but I will be a little bit more cautious.
That is my process of self care at this point.
Proof haha because I’m all about showing receipts! A screenshot of my drafts lol So to those that say stop being dramatic about Self Care.
It’s a real thing, and this election wasn’t the beginning of it.
Lil Epic Design is a unique design company that focuses on creating one-of-a-kind, yet affordable, events for people on the go. Situated in the heart of Chicago, Lil Epic Design is a team of young, driven and creative women. Their team brings their spunky personalities with sophisticated style to all projects while staying within budget, timeline and theme. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Aka~~~~~~~~ they can plan and host the most bomb ass parties,weddings,event etc you could ever imagine!
The Lil Epic ladies were generous enough to host a fundraiser for Two Girls & Some Pads! We made inspirational cards, put together some care packs, drank a little bit and listened to some serious throw backs! It was such a fun time. Chyrel, Megan, and Kelly are the absolute best! It was really encouraging and empowering to work with such strong, intelligent women.
After the past week I was down. The election, and the events that followed really weighed on me. My work week was rough. This event was such a great way to spend a Friday night. It felt really good to be in the presence of good company and so much positivity. It was very satisfying to come together as a community and do good.
And I feel that everyone that attended felt the same way. Together we created about 120 packs that night. Gabrielle & I were so excited and overwhelmed with all the donations and people that came out for us!
Thank you again for the continued support!
You guys make me cry of happiness
** Also a good friend of mine, Matthew Pozo wrote up a prettttttyyyyyy cool article on us!
** Music by Common- Be(Intro)
This past Friday we teamed up with Gallery Café, in Wicker Park for their monthly artist show. We got to meet a bunch of really cool people, and was given a big opportunity to gain more exposure! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. So many men and women were so interested in our cause and more than willing to help.
Some of our amazing supporters came out and dropped off their donations to us, and had a drink. We talked about the cause, and got a chance to really educate a lot of people on what we are trying to achieve. We will be having another event coming up, November 11.2016! Save the date & Look out for invite.
Two Girls and Some Pads are stepping in the direction of a nonprofit organization. We want to keep up the momentum we have at the moment. We have a nice pile of care packs ready for distribution, but we still making them. The donation list is posted below, and also please contact me, with the form below, when you are ready to have your items picked up.
Also just to let you all know I am really thankful for all the support, and help!
It is no secret that being born a woman you have this organ called a uterus and it bleeds every month. This is NOT a luxury for women. This is NOT something women ASK to go through every month. For many homeless women, choosing between being clean and having items like pads/tampons/liners/cups often over rides eating for the day, or a few days, or however long it might be for your next meal. Not only do these women go hungry for the day, but they also face public embarrassment due to having to wear bloodied clothing from not having sanitary products easily accessible to them and having to do things like make makeshift tampons out of clothing, which could lead to a multitude of health issues.
As many of us ladies know, pads/tampons/liners/sanitary wipes are NOT CHEAP. One single box of tampons can cost you as little as 4 dollars or as much as 15 dollars. How many times have you put back an item at the store to be able to get that box of tampons for the month?
Find us on facebook here
-Panties (New) Sizes S- XL
-Tampons, Pads,Liners ETC
-Body Wipes (individually wrapped)
-Zip lock bags
-Do I need to state this? Money, any amount will help (Will provide you with a receipt of the things purchased with your donation)
Email me at: email@example.com
*********I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO SET UP A DAY AND PICK UP TIME AND COME TO YOU*************
They are uncomfortable. Who invented these things? Did they hate women?
The feeling of taking your bra off after a long day… Amazing.
I gave up bras for the week. Just to see. To some this is no big deal. Some never wear bras. I commend you.
But I don’t exactly feel comfortable being without a bra. I’m larger on top & I feel that most of the women that go braless have smaller chests. Braless Ashley hangs out in one place, this is in the comfort of her home.
Braless Ashley hit the streets this week. She went to work. She sat at her desk with her boobs not perfectly held up under her shirt. But instead they hung out naturally, and comfortably.
A few things happened.
1. Stopped getting up from my desk as often as I normally do.
2. I didn’t do my midday stretch where I stretch my back out because my bra makes my back hurt.
3. I completely avoided all my male co workers as much as humanly possible. Haha
I went with a cami under my work shirt to give me some control. Mainly nipple control because everyone knows offices can get chilly. Even though fully clothed. I felt so naked. I avoided any movements that would make them jiggle. Haha (writing this is actually really funny.)
I went with a more blousey type shirt. To keep Braless Ashley, a secret. In the world outside of work. I would have forced myself to not be secretive. But since I’m in the workplace, I got to hide behind my need to be “work appropriate.” Which was nerve relieving. I’m not really ready for Braless Ashley to hit the city.
Went just as smoothly as the other ones. Aside from when my coworker pointed out that my nipples were hard. She’s cool, so it wasn’t world ending but still made me shit a little in my pants. And wonder, who else has noticed and just didn’t say anything. She said, “ugh you are brave!”(Me brave, HA! I’m silently struggling not to die of embarrassment about someone noticing my chest)
End of day, Dare I say it? I feel a little bad ass. A little confident? A little like my back hasn’t been hurting all day? Oh yeah.
Going bra free is the way to be. However can I actually do this at work? Probably not, because I need to get up from my desk more. Haha what I will do is buy more bras without an underwire. And possibly more camis in a size smaller, to keep my lady friends more at bay.
I plan to be Braless in the city soon. Maybe I will lose the shyness and go all out. That’s a big maybe.
I went out to see my friend perform in her show! And I was Braless & no one knew. MuahahahaHahaha
I can only write from one point of view.
My opinions, ideas, come from the point of view of a 24 year of Latina girl. Simply put.
Everything about me, creates my opinions, thoughts, feelings.
I am not every woman, every Latina, 24-year-old, every girlfriend. I am not white, I could never tell you how a white lady feels. I am not black, I could never tell you how being black feels. I don’t have a penis. So I can’t tell you about problems that penis having people have. I just can’t. So my opinions may not apply to you, but that is okay. That is why you have your own.
This is the only woman I can be, I am the only woman I can speak for.
When people carry this idea through their writings. I feel that it takes away from me, because someone decided to be every woman. Female gender does not have 1 identity.
How To Be A Bad Bitch
Before any review, I want to tell people to read it for themselves, theirself? Whatever.
So I linked it above just so you can order yourself one!
My expectations are really high. I want Amber to SMASH down all those stereotypes that put women down. I want her be unapologetic for who she is, and tell everyone to do the same. I want her to show girls that relationships with other girls are so important, and to help other women succeed.
A lot of women, girls don’t hear these things enough. I love when celebrities do what they want shamelessly. I want her to be smart, cunning, I want her to use facts, and know how to cite them.
After reading it…
Somethings I really liked. Other things I felt Amber really contradicted herself. The first few chapters are very repetitive. She focuses heavily on achieving her look, and how she came to find hers. Which got boring quickly.
I loved some parts and other parts I did not. She was all about empowering other women. How to love yourself, how to dress for yourself. I loved all these ideas and positivity she came forward with.
Her honesty, and her point of view were refreshing. I truly appreciate her past, and how that creates her ideas, and the way she thinks. It is something that is very different from myself and I love that I can see through sher eyes.
Some parts I found slightly offensive. (EX: She talks about a girl who is not that attractive but because she dancing like she doesn’t give a fuck- she becomes attractive) I hated this line. She is being so contradicting on all her preaching about how all women are beautiful and not to let another persons definition of beauty define you. But than she says this. Rose goes on to talk about what kind of friends all girls should have. She says every girl should have a gay best friend because they are always up on all the fashion, trends, makeup etc.. I feel like this makes takes away gay people’s humanity and makes them more of a token. Which bothers me. (But what does that mean because as a non gay person. I can’t say what is or what is not offensive.) Another part I didn’t like, was when she talks about how important it is to have manners and be nice to everyone. It’s a little reminiscent of step ford wives. Women can never be angry or show that you are upset. Keep calm and lady like. I hate that shit. If you are angry be angry and say some shit in the moment. I don’t think you always have to prim and proper. Moving forward. I disliked her section about what guys like. “Girls that play video games are always liked by boys” , girls who burp and fart are not attractive. Girls that get jealous. This is some stupid ass shit. Ignore it all.
I feel like she kind of missed the mark on pushing her feminist agenda.
However I appreciate her effort. In anything else, finding your true feelings and ideas takes time and learning. She points out how she used to slut shame, and how she came to the realization that it was wrong. And how she now knows it’s wrong and tries to stop people from making those same mistakes. Her compassion for people and seeing her try to be the person she didn’t have growing up is really endearing. She draws from her own life trials and makes it into a positive thing.
Amber Rose touches on her depression, and her anxiety. She describes it as a constant struggle and something she still deals with today. Being honest about depression is something that isn’t common. It is one of those diseases, that is kept in the dark. She gives tips on how she personally handles herself.
She parallels, her past as a exotic dancer as being in business classes. She says that she had to learn to make men take their hard earned money out of her pocket and put it in her hand. I loved this part. She is unapologetic, she is honest about knowing how to use seduction to get what she wanted.
Rose focused heavily on the importance of relationships with other women and how important it is to hold those friendships in high regard. To keep positive relationships and to be helpful to other women. She says that if you see a women doing better than you, don’t get competitive but instead understand that she is just a little further ahead in her journey. And learn from her. I enjoyed that sense of womanhood that she brings. Rose brings up how crucial it is to reevaluate your current friends to make sure that they are still good for you. ( I found this very relatable)
I am going to completely ignore her chapter on sex. (I disagreee with almost everything she says and it kind of allows room for rape culture to peak it’s ugly head up ) I don’t exactly agree with any of that. But that is her personal feelings towards the subject and really my face was like
She said if a guy is doing something you don’t like, try to make a joke about it, so he gets the hint………………………… Do i need to say why that is fucked? Her whole book revolves around men. How to get them, please them, attract them, fuck them. Things that I don’t need to hear anymore of.
Overall I don’t plan on ever coming back to reading this. I like her general ideas, but she needs to really think about what she is saying. And read more. And learn more.
I am already started on another book it is called A Young Widower: A Memoir
Pick it up and start reading along with me!