It’s summer in Chicago and honestly? I couldn’t be happier. Those gray-ass days were really starting to fuck me uppppp. So now, my main goal is simple: get the fuck outside as much as possible. Arlito’s getting bigger and it’s finally starting to feel easier to leave the house , which, for me, is huge. Because let’s be real… leaving the house is a whole thing. I love being home. Like, deeply. But I also know I can slip into recluse mode too easily, and I want to shift that.

Lately, all I want is to be with my family. Ayana is 4 now and growing so fast it makes my head spin. This summer feels extra precious because it’s the last one we’ll have with this much time together before she starts full-day preschool. Eight hours away from us every day. I have a lot of feelings about that. But I’m also looking forward to giving Arlo some real focused time. End of summer is going to bring big changes for us, and while it’s bittersweet, I know it’s going to be good.

As for me ——Ashley ——I’m doing well. Mentally I feel sharp. Energized. Hungry to create. I’m in that phase where I want to do all the things. Make more time for my friends. Carve out space for me. Be intentional with Andre. Show up for my family in ways that feel good, not just out of obligation. I don’t have the logistics figured out yet but I’m confident I’ll get there. Honestly, I’m over the tired mom narrative. Like… yeah, I’m tired, but I’m doing it anyway. Tired and thriving.

I’ve been thinking about taking a class maybe hot yoga or Pilates? Something every Saturday or Sunday morning to help me feel like my own person again. If you’ve got suggestions, drop them. I’m also itching to be creative again. Writing helps massively. It’s always been my first outlet. It’s the xanga/tumblr in me. Photography has also been pulling at me too lately . I’m remembering that it can bring me joy, not just content.

One thing I’ve noticed: I know I’m in a good post-partum headspace when I feel inspired. I keep wanting to post on Instagram but I’m also super uninterested in sharing my kids’ faces online. It just doesn’t sit right with me. Right now, that’s 90% of my camera roll. sharing them feels… exploitative? Maybe that’s a whole post in itself. I’m still finding my comfort zone in it all.

Also, social media in general can be exhausting. Everyone’s trying to do something for a profit , sell, inspire, argue, drag, motivate, prove. I’m over it. I want to see people just being. No agenda. No curated hustle. Just… life. As it is. I also get it, and like live and let live. But it’s just a lot- after awhile. It makes me feel tired and inspo-less lol I need to follow more artists.

Marriage-wise, we’re in this cool evolution. Andre is deep in dad mode and it’s wild to watch. We’ve been together almost 12 years now, and I feel really grateful. Twelve years of being loved and chosen by the same person it’s no small thing. I realize a lot of my growth has happened because of the foundation we’ve built. And as a dad? He’s solid. I never feel like the girls are missing anything when they’re with him. That freedom makes it so much easier for me to actually leave the house my biggest hurdle lolol.

Anyway we’ve got a family summer bucket list going and I’m hyped. You know I love a list. Can’t wait to cross everything off and soak up this season with my people.

Some personal goals:

Complete our summer bucket list

Re-decorate our bathroom

Get super tan (yes, this is a real goal)

Take a class (Pilates? OrangeTheory? Something consistent on the weekends)

Get a haircut by end of summer.. seriously, hold me to it.

Jk, dont fucking tell me what to do

Finally find curtains we like for the bathroom and the living room

Summer Family Bucket List:

Brookfield Zoo Beach day

Museum trip

Chuck E. Cheese (pray for us)

Local festival

Climb Zone

Start Ju Jitsu classes for the girls

Weekend getaway to Michigan