I posted on Threads the other day: “Motherhood is my whole personality but it doesn’t consume thoughts.” That might sound like a contradiction, but it’s actually a deep truth I’m unraveling every day.

Being a mom is core to who I am. It’s how I move through the world now. It’s the lens I see everything through how I show up, how I love, how I hustle, how I rest. My children are embedded into my thoughts at all times. I’m thinking about what they’ll eat for lunch, if they felt seen today, if they’re growing into kind and confident humans. And yet, I also spend entire days lost in other parts of myself thinking about my work, my creative projects, the way sunlight hits the floor in the afternoon, or how badly I want to visit the Amalfi Coast.

I’m learning that it’s not either/or. I am both. I am all.

I’ve always believed that women are multi-dimensional. We are not meant to be boxed into one identity. I can be completely in love with my family, and still dream wildly about the things I want to build for myself. I can miss my babies after a few hours apart and still crave a night alone on my couch with a book and a little jointy joint. Or a night with my husband where we stay in the same bed all night and I don’t wake up to find him on the floor of our oldest daughter’s room. I am allowed to want both. I am built for both.

My children bring me immense joy, indescribable joy. But they are not the only source of it. I am my own source, too. My family adds color and depth to my life, but I was vibrant even before them. Having a family has given me deep purpose, yes, but I also believe that my purpose includes doing what I want. Writing. Creating. Laughing. Doing shit. Serving in ways that have nothing to do with juice cups or nap schedules.

I’m not trying to escape motherhood. I’m trying to expand inside it.

Motherhood has made me softer, fiercer, more curious, more alive. And I know I can love my babies with my whole chest while also choosing to chase the pieces of myself that existed long before I ever became someone’s mom.

So yess, motherhood is my whole personality.

And I’m still a million other things. 

Like pls be fr, I haven’t even touched on being a wife, sister, friend.