I want my kids to lean into who they are. Fully. Loudly. Even if it doesn’t make sense to me yet. Especially then. Because part of parenting is knowing that your job isn’t to sculpt a child into your idea of “good”, it’s to give them space, tools, and love to become themselves and be responsible adults that contribute positively to the world.

I’ve got girls, and I still want to see them climb trees, get dirty, build things, and take up space without worrying if they’re being “too much.” But let’s talk about boys for a second. I think we failed a generation of men by shaming them out of “girl things.” Little boys were told dolls were for girls, tea parties were weak, kitchens were for mommies. So now you’ve got grown men trying to figure out how to nurture without ever practicing in a safe environment. How to be present, emotionally available fathers or partners. when the only toys they were handed were swords, trucks, and “man up” speeches.

We can’t say we want men to show up emotionally and be great dads if we mock every little boy who shows interest in caregiving. Same way we can’t tell girls they’re strong and smart and then only reward them when they’re clean and cute. How could someone tell their daughter they can be anything they want. Except they can’t get dirty, they cant get too loud, too messy, etc.

It’s not about reversing roles. It’s about rejecting the idea that certain things belong to one gender. Both kids need to know how to clean, cook, build, feel, express, comfort, and lead. Those are life skills, not gender traits.

So let them play with it all. The dolls, the tools, the glitter, the mud. Let them try on the whole world so they’re not afraid of any part of it when they grow up.

We’re not raising little girls and little boy we’re raising whole humans. And they deserve to be built on something deeper than pink and blue.