We went wrong when we stopped slapping the fuck out of people when they do wild ass shit. Yes, I think people need their ass whopped. Mfs will be so quick to spank a toddler for doing some kid ass shit. But neverrrr even think to apply that to an adult. This is about accountability. It’s about letting people know when they’re out of line instead of tiptoeing around their feelings. Somewhere along the way, especially in the name of being “civil” or “respectful,” we let politeness override principle. We started prioritizing people’s comfort over the truth. Over justice. Over real change.

This obsession with politeness, especially in professional, academic, and so-called “progressive” spaces is not neutral. It’s not universal. It’s culture ez. It’s white. Because whiteness, as a structure, teaches that “good behavior” means being calm, quiet, agreeable, and non-confrontational even when you’re being harmed, dismissed, or erased. Especially then. Why is someone’s response to a heinous act scrutinized more than the action itself?

So now, when people speak up with fire in their chest and truth in their mouth, they’re labeled “angry,” “aggressive,” “unprofessional.” Meanwhile, the systems they’re speaking out against remain untouched. The systems that are actually being aggressive and unprofessional. That’s how politeness culture becomes a tool of oppression. It’s dressed up as grace but really functions as a muzzle. Especially for people of color, queer folks, and anyone who’s already being pushed to the margins.

It maintains the comfort of the dominant group while silencing the very people most affected by injustice. It says, “We’ll listen to you, but only if you say it in the right tone.” That’s not equity. That’s control.

And this isn’t just theoretical. We see it in schools where Black and Brown children are disciplined more harshly for “attitude.” We see it in workplaces where people are told to be “team players” while their ideas get stolen in real time. We see it in politics, where oppressed communities are told to wait their turn, be patient, and vote again next cycle. As if justice is a favor to be granted, not a right to be claimed.

So yeah, maybe we wouldn’t be here, where book bans are normal, where fascism is trending, where human rights are still up for debate. If people felt the consequences of doing wild, disrespectful, dehumanizing shit. Maybe if more folks got fucking slapped with the truth (or a hand) they’d stop acting like equity is optional. Because real justice doesn’t always sound nice. And it damn sure shouldn’t cater to white fragility.