Lets start off with some good old definitions. Because words mean things.

When we talk about patriarchy, the focus is usually on how it limits women and rightfully so. But what often gets missed is just how damaging it is to men as well. Frankly, maybe I can appeal to the man to get things to change!? lol

We’ve built a culture that expects men to do it all. Provide. Protect. Perform. Always be strong. Never falter. It’s a system that hands them privilege in one breath but demands their humanity in another. And that pressure? It’d imagine it’s crushing.

The irony is, patriarchy pretends to “elevate” men, but really it boxes them in. It refuses to acknowledge that men are different from one another, with their own personalities, strengths, vulnerabilities, and desires. Instead, it hands down a one-size-fits-all script and punishes anyone who doesn’t play the part.

And we see the consequences everywhere. Men, while often having the most access to opportunity and support, in theory, aren’t always given the grace to take advantage of it. They’re not encouraged to be vulnerable, to ask for help, or to admit when the weight of expectation feels too heavy. This silence has a cost: men consistently lead in suicide statistics in the US. It’s a reflection of a society that denies them permission to be human.

Rigid expectations on anyone weaken a society. Patriarchy doesn’t just limit women to certain roles. It also forces men into a mold they likely wouldn’t choose, if there wasn’t an impending fear of being considered soft, gay or not masculine. You don’t unlock human potential by boxing people in. You unlock it by allowing everyone. Men, women, all genders, to show up as their full, complex selves

Patriarchy isn’t just a women’s issue. It’s a human issue. And until we’re willing to dismantle it, we’ll keep robbing the world of the brilliance, creativity, and connection that comes when people are free to be fully themselves.

The irony in all of this is clear: we recognize the problem, we see how men are expected to carry it all, and yet we also live in a patriarchy which means men are the ones with the real power to change it. The question isn’t whether they can, but whether they’ll choose to.

I realize it might seem unusual that I’m choosing to show empathy toward men in an issue that men, historically, created and upheld. Normally, my lens and the one I deeply believe in, is to highlight how these systems harm women. That’s the perspective I most often see reflected in the research, articles, and media I consume, and it’s where I usually center my own writing.

But part of challenging myself as a writer is stepping outside of my default viewpoint. In this case, I wanted to experiment with highlighting men instead because I’ve never really done that before. My hope is that this shift in perspective might land differently for certain readers. Showing the Patriarchy is an everyone problem, not just a women’s. Maybe even someone who’s on the border of being a fucking incel, or someone who might otherwise dismiss conversations about patriarchy, could feel seen in the empathy I’m offering. In turn, be nudged toward understanding and connection instead of further detachment. Anddd maybe they’ll even be inclined to want to end the patriarchy as well, lmao.